Does my best is not enough?

After months of cruel training for preparation of crucial District II - B Schools Press Conference i just lose. Thats one of the most disappointing part of my life. I just noticed this past few days i get lots of disappointment and stress and i really dont know why its happening in my self? 'Em i really that bad for me to get this 'karma'? I dont know what my mind response to this situations. Does the stars shine down? When the announcing of winners, i was really tense. I feel like vomiting. My heart is exploding. Then 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2 and 1 my name was not called. My world was burned down. I hold my rosary tight, i pray every minute but nothing happen. I went to journ room after the BEST IN PAGSULAT NG BALITA was called and there i unleashed my emotions. I was really hurt. I was really disappointed. I was really mad. I had mix emotions. I was really toungue tied that i lost every word i want to say. I want to cry but to tears want to fall. Everybody outside was cheering my schoolmates who won and for our school who bagged the first place overall champion in the said press con. They won but me, i lose. Everybody wears a smile becuase they got a Certificate of Merit and me bears a unbreakable sorrow engulfing my mind. I envied all of them. They told me its okay but it will never be okay being the one who do you think is the most naive in the group. I want to blame everybody for my defeat. One is the judge, who i think is so damn for not letting me not to win that competition. Second is God, why does He want to experience this? Why does He not answer my prayers. But in the end of the day, i know its my fault and the one who i can lean into was God. I was sorry for blaming Him. I was really wrong. I know God found me weak and He just want me to be strong. I love God for everything that he is doing for me. Then they told me also, i did my best, but does my best is enough?  Yes, i did but why is it that i lose? We did our best so that we can get want we want and it is all paid back. But why does my best did not do its magic? What was God really meant for doing this? But what it is that God was really meant i will just wait for it and for sure it will make me so flabbergasted. This is the start of fhe fall of my journ career in our school but the start of new opportunity.